Folllow my Tumblr. im off Blogspot....well not really. i just dont write as much as i used to. Kinda empty, nothing comes out...so follow my randomness http://lonerstxner.tumblr.com/

Note to self

Look at me

i know ur pain

i know what bothers you

the fear thats in you

i feel it too

the feeling is mutual

it seems you are alone

but you AREN'T.

Im always with you

in the darkness

even though it screams within your heart

the sorrow you seem to have known forever

i carry it with you

i too feel your burden

can i make it better

wash it all away

wish it all away?

Im trying to love you...

im trying to know you

I stay with you

listenin to your thoughts

the pain thats inside of you

scars my hands and heart

Do not disown me

i will always be with you

you cannot do this on your own

i have your back... believe me

trust me.

Can i scream your sorrow away

Can i fight it away?

Im trying to defend you

Im trying to protect you

i wont fade away like the others

im with you forever

not even death will part us...

Stop keeping everything inside

Staying in love with your despair

Dont let it keep you in the dark

Pulling you lower down,

making you unable to fly

But you are not alone

i will help you

there are times you will fall

ill be there to pick you up

Believe me

Trust me

I love you

Love lost

Don't you hate
when you love someone
and they dont love you back
the way your heart aches
from the pain inside
but dont you love
when just the mere thought of them
makes you laugh or cry out of joy
it feels like there's no ground beneath your feet
and the world is on your side
No matter how they are in your life
you are happy, just because they're in it

But times like these, i love when the rain fall when i cry
i walk without an umbrella
and hold my head up high facing the sky
so no one can see my tears
falling from my eyes
i place a smile on my face
but nonetheless
i feel the opposite

Straining my heart to be numb

emotionless

it hurts,it bleeds, it needs love
your words wont matter
actions speaks clearer to me
but nothing is forever
not even Love
It dies and the memory is lost
my heart is closed
it has shunned you out
and the thought of you
frightens it
Love may come back
and i will greet it with arms open widely
but my love for you
has left entirely

I like to walk in the rain

So that way
No one knows
Im crying

Coming to a conclusion

If you have been reading my posts and understanding what you know about me, you will know that i have been through many obstacles and difficulties in my life so far and i know the journey is far from over. I realised that i cannot please everyone. Some people only concentrate on the negative that i do and i dont need people judging me. Im just gonna continue my schooling, market myself and do what i have to do to please ME!

Defeated

My heart is torn
and it is broken
it bleeds pain
and it suffers
no one sees it
but i alone feel it
i feel alone
and i cannot cope with myself
my hands shake
my tears drop
i feel so lost
and abandoned
how can someone use that word so freely
and so easily
and how can i let them in soo deeply
5 years seemed like a lifetime
and the pain seems like forever
its like you purposely stole my soul from me
and i can no longer feeel
tears fall as my prayers
and roll down my cheeks
a smile than has deminished
the love as i know it
has gone.
it only took a minute
for me to realise
just because i love you
doesnt mean i need you.

Im smiling AGAIN!

MY WIFE [That is all]

Just Updating...

Soo it seems i havent blogged in a while and this is because i have been working in Trinidad for the best 3 mths. Yes, ive been occupied and it has been good for me. Keeping myself busy is one way of making myself believe i can find happiness. Makes me forget how loneliness can feel...

Update

Hello people
its been a while since i came on here and wrote anything. I can honestly say that i am beginning to find myself and understand myself and how things around me affect me. I always knew the world was cold but now i KNOW that it will never change. I need to stop hoping and wishing and just DO! I would get nothing done if i sat around and depending on people. im just saying!