Quiero un amante
Quero un amigo
Quiero estar amor
Me quiero a mi mismo

To Whom This May Concern

Please, please forgive me
for wanting you.
Going to bed with you in mind
and waking up with a smile on my face
because its another day i can speak to you.
im confused about this feeling i have
sometimes
i regret it
other times,
i embrace it.
i believe one day
its gonna take all of me
and i am going to be in too deep
sweet words i wish to tell you
when i cant sleep
but i just end the night
by saying Goodnight
& then i fade away
How can i feel so strongly
about you
and i bearly know you
but i feel like i do
and we never seen each other in person
But, i feel so comfortable
in my skin when we speak.
All sadness and lost hope
eliminates for a split second
Then, it rushes back
because
i dont know what it is
you want!
I just wanna know
do you care
and can you be there
when i need someone?
But you give me no feedback
all i get in my mind, is a blank image
im lost in my own thoughts
i want to give up on you
but i cant
i feel like there's something
further down the road for me
i guess, im going to wait it out
and Prepare for the worst.

Crying Out

Im so tired about how hard
my life is
and tired of the people in it
and how each one hurts me individually.
Im immune to so much pain
But when I do get hurt.
It feels like, it last foreverrr
I fail so much in life
I just NEED some motivation
Sometimes I wish I can
just stop breathing
and GOD will it take
Under his ARMS!
Maybe then i will be happy
People think i will be happy
People think I'm over domestic
But they don't know half of what's going on.
I wish everyone would leave me alone
i don't feel liked
i definitely don't feel loved
Nothing never goes right.
The one thing I want in life
Is so far out of my reach
I feel so tired , so exhausted with my life.
Tired of living this lie
pretending I'm happy
and i been doing this for a while.
It hasn't become my reality.
When will this end?

Whats on my mind today

I really dont know what to describe myself.
I can tell someone who i am but they always wish to categorize me.
Some tell me im Emo, some tell me im just plain weird.
Some say im just depressed and others who dont understand me say im crying for attention
Why would i wish to be sad, and cry everyday.
i would LOVE to be in love with myself and everything around me
Maybe i can love someone else one day.
And maybe they can save me from myself.
My entire styled changed. my choice in music changed
everything about me is dark.
I have had suicidal thoughts and tried but failed
I guess i have a purpose on this Earth after all.
People close to me always ask me why i always write poems in my book
and never wish to share?
Do they really want to know what goes on in my head... and can they handle it
I hide my hands everytime i am home. I dont want them to see my scars
No, i dont care if they see them, its my hand. i just dont want to have to explain why they are there
most of the time ,its because of them.
wanting too much from me.
i cant even give myself what i want.
I swear people ask for too much from me
i just feel like giving up sometimes
maybe if i do, i owe no one anything
and i can FINALLY REST.
but life goes on and its a full time job
Let me do my best. I probably will be rewarded!

You In or Out?

My heart is a locked door.
Dont force yourself to enter
And if you insist on coming in
Dont assume you can leave when you want
And come back when you please.
My heart is fragile, not yet broken
but if it does, it will shatter into 1000 pieces
Whats ironic is, each piece will still care for you.

I pretend that we never happened
or ever had a chance.
You seem to always save me from myself
I never felt so right about someone before
Even know we are nothing, never kissed, never even held hands
It just feels RIGHT.

Support my Habit <3

Fell in Love

Why be scared of death?
Why be scared of love?
Why be scared of commitment?
Why be scared of anything?
In order to get over your pain
i believe u must fall in love with it
it will never go away
until the day for you to close your eyes
and drift away from this cold world.
Drowning in your sorrow...
you feel broken and nothing can fix you.
Pretend everything is fine, until the little world you created, seems REAL.

I neeed to stop what im doing
My arm is starting to look bad...
and everytime i look at it
it reminds me why i did what i did

What im worth

I dont look for love
or anything serious
i look for a close friendship
where love actually lives.
i refuse to beg for love
refuse to be the only one in love
i know what i deverse
and i know what im worth
you are not worth my tears
nor do i deserve to stress
i have enough scars to remind me
that love doesnt live with me no more
nor does it exist
im erasing every emotion i had for you
ITS FOR THE BEST!

For people who visit my blog.
im not always sad and depressed.
i do have my happy days
but usually my happy days arent as memoriable as my sad ones
sad but true =)

MY ALTERNATIVE

Releasing my pain with this blade
i rememeber when there were times i was afraid
would i go to deep
and would the inner pain even fade away

drowing in my thoughts and sorrow
which i find so difficult to let go
its like i feel in love with it
and on my face, the emotions show
sometimes i cant take this pain
sometimes its my own life i cant take
the barrier from happiness i cant break
thats blocking me from seeing what my life is really about

Scars just constantly reminds me everytime i look at them
they sometimes hurt when i touch them
i cant keep doin this to myself
does it really help?


I found a new way to ease my pain
to empty my mind from the sorrow which flooded my mind
i feel like im above the clouds and the stars are beneath my feet
i play with the moon , like basketball in the street
i feel soo far away from home. and i feel so free
I love this place! The world is no longer against me.

How can i pretend that i dont see you
when you hide so carelessly
Im frozen inside
We all lie
We all DIE.