Quiero un amante
Quero un amigo
Quiero estar amor
Me quiero a mi mismo

To Whom This May Concern

Please, please forgive me
for wanting you.
Going to bed with you in mind
and waking up with a smile on my face
because its another day i can speak to you.
im confused about this feeling i have
sometimes
i regret it
other times,
i embrace it.
i believe one day
its gonna take all of me
and i am going to be in too deep
sweet words i wish to tell you
when i cant sleep
but i just end the night
by saying Goodnight
& then i fade away
How can i feel so strongly
about you
and i bearly know you
but i feel like i do
and we never seen each other in person
But, i feel so comfortable
in my skin when we speak.
All sadness and lost hope
eliminates for a split second
Then, it rushes back
because
i dont know what it is
you want!
I just wanna know
do you care
and can you be there
when i need someone?
But you give me no feedback
all i get in my mind, is a blank image
im lost in my own thoughts
i want to give up on you
but i cant
i feel like there's something
further down the road for me
i guess, im going to wait it out
and Prepare for the worst.

Crying Out

Im so tired about how hard
my life is
and tired of the people in it
and how each one hurts me individually.
Im immune to so much pain
But when I do get hurt.
It feels like, it last foreverrr
I fail so much in life
I just NEED some motivation
Sometimes I wish I can
just stop breathing
and GOD will it take
Under his ARMS!
Maybe then i will be happy
People think i will be happy
People think I'm over domestic
But they don't know half of what's going on.
I wish everyone would leave me alone
i don't feel liked
i definitely don't feel loved
Nothing never goes right.
The one thing I want in life
Is so far out of my reach
I feel so tired , so exhausted with my life.
Tired of living this lie
pretending I'm happy
and i been doing this for a while.
It hasn't become my reality.
When will this end?

Whats on my mind today

I really dont know what to describe myself.
I can tell someone who i am but they always wish to categorize me.
Some tell me im Emo, some tell me im just plain weird.
Some say im just depressed and others who dont understand me say im crying for attention
Why would i wish to be sad, and cry everyday.
i would LOVE to be in love with myself and everything around me
Maybe i can love someone else one day.
And maybe they can save me from myself.
My entire styled changed. my choice in music changed
everything about me is dark.
I have had suicidal thoughts and tried but failed
I guess i have a purpose on this Earth after all.
People close to me always ask me why i always write poems in my book
and never wish to share?
Do they really want to know what goes on in my head... and can they handle it
I hide my hands everytime i am home. I dont want them to see my scars
No, i dont care if they see them, its my hand. i just dont want to have to explain why they are there
most of the time ,its because of them.
wanting too much from me.
i cant even give myself what i want.
I swear people ask for too much from me
i just feel like giving up sometimes
maybe if i do, i owe no one anything
and i can FINALLY REST.
but life goes on and its a full time job
Let me do my best. I probably will be rewarded!

You In or Out?

My heart is a locked door.
Dont force yourself to enter
And if you insist on coming in
Dont assume you can leave when you want
And come back when you please.
My heart is fragile, not yet broken
but if it does, it will shatter into 1000 pieces
Whats ironic is, each piece will still care for you.

I pretend that we never happened
or ever had a chance.
You seem to always save me from myself
I never felt so right about someone before
Even know we are nothing, never kissed, never even held hands
It just feels RIGHT.

Support my Habit <3

Fell in Love

Why be scared of death?
Why be scared of love?
Why be scared of commitment?
Why be scared of anything?
In order to get over your pain
i believe u must fall in love with it
it will never go away
until the day for you to close your eyes
and drift away from this cold world.
Drowning in your sorrow...
you feel broken and nothing can fix you.
Pretend everything is fine, until the little world you created, seems REAL.

I neeed to stop what im doing
My arm is starting to look bad...
and everytime i look at it
it reminds me why i did what i did

What im worth

I dont look for love
or anything serious
i look for a close friendship
where love actually lives.
i refuse to beg for love
refuse to be the only one in love
i know what i deverse
and i know what im worth
you are not worth my tears
nor do i deserve to stress
i have enough scars to remind me
that love doesnt live with me no more
nor does it exist
im erasing every emotion i had for you
ITS FOR THE BEST!

For people who visit my blog.
im not always sad and depressed.
i do have my happy days
but usually my happy days arent as memoriable as my sad ones
sad but true =)

MY ALTERNATIVE

Releasing my pain with this blade
i rememeber when there were times i was afraid
would i go to deep
and would the inner pain even fade away

drowing in my thoughts and sorrow
which i find so difficult to let go
its like i feel in love with it
and on my face, the emotions show
sometimes i cant take this pain
sometimes its my own life i cant take
the barrier from happiness i cant break
thats blocking me from seeing what my life is really about

Scars just constantly reminds me everytime i look at them
they sometimes hurt when i touch them
i cant keep doin this to myself
does it really help?


I found a new way to ease my pain
to empty my mind from the sorrow which flooded my mind
i feel like im above the clouds and the stars are beneath my feet
i play with the moon , like basketball in the street
i feel soo far away from home. and i feel so free
I love this place! The world is no longer against me.

How can i pretend that i dont see you
when you hide so carelessly
Im frozen inside
We all lie
We all DIE.

Perfect Night

Candles lit
the light dimmers
i feel your presence
i feel the warmth from your body
i feel you

you grab hold of my arms
you kiss my lips
your hand lower down to my hips
i feel your breath on my neck
i feel you

Now were on the bed
on your chest, i lay my head
i can hear your heart beating
i feel your love for me
i feel you

Your hands caress my body
almost like your touching my soul.
you brought warmth to it for it was layin somewhere cold
we are no longer two persons, but one union.
i feel you and I love you.

When you look at me. You probable say;
shes one of those divas who they they the baddest.
WRONG! but i cant stop people from talking about me
People are going to talk about me
until the day I die
But thats not important
Whats important, is what i answer to.

Giving Up.

My heart is racing
palms sweaty
pills scattered on the floor
here i lay
hoping it is my last breath
before my lovely death
im terrified but life scares me
everything about it haunts me
i can feel my heart beating
beating from fear
is it my fear to live or to die?

I close my eyes,
praying i don't wake up from my dream.
I feel my heart slowing down
Into the darkness, my spirit is drowned
hours passed, but it feels like minutes.
all my sorrow i want to diminish
Suddenly, loud noises of someone breaking in
I can't figure out who it is.
I was lifted and carried off my bed
and asked,"Keisha wake up, are you ok?"
With squinted eyes, i looked up.
it was no longer a dream
I WAS ALIVE.

Girl in the Mirror

Theres a girl in the mirror
I always wonder who she is
sometimes i think i know her
and sometimes i wish i did
There's a story in her eyes
Sorrow and lies
when shes looking back at me
I can tell shes hurting inside.

You cannot break a girl who is already broken.

There are two great days in a person's life.

The day we are born and the day we discover why.

Laugh, Drink,Smoke,Live Life <3

Hello by Evanescence

"Hello"

Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello I'm your mind
giving you someone to talk to
Hello

If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken
Hello I am the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry

Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello I'm still here
All thats left of yesterday

Giving up doesnt always mean you are weak
Sometimes it means you are
strong enough to let go.

Obama need fi stop playin & go legalize di ting already. Weed affi smoke. Ya zeet

Secrets

Who am i?
What am i about?
What am i doing here?
Why do i feel this way?
Why am i here?
Where do i stand?
Who is there for me?
Who will help me up when i fall?
When will i seek happiness?
When will i love myself?
When will i be loved?
Whose fault is it for my sorrow?
Why cant i stop crying these tears?
Where do i belong in this world?
Do i even belong?
Am i even worthy of this life?
Am i thankful enough for my life?
Questioning my life everyday and it never gives me answers.
Is it a secret? Am i not supposed to know the results or conclusions of my life.
I guess i never will.

WORTHLESS.

I always used to want others to notice me
Instead they rejected me
Said i was weird and not like everyone else
Also that I wouldn't fit it, and i should just keep to myself
I concealed my real inner self for very long
Til i almost forgot who i was.
I cant continue living this way
it causes me to go astray
Cause the things that i crave for,
will never be handed to me because of the way i portray myself.
Sometimes i ask myself, "what do others think of me? Do they look at me as a daughter, scholar, whore?"
But im beginning not to care.
Only my opinion of myself matters now. But what do i think of myself?
should i be loved from others,or from myself?
Should i get respect? Should I be trusted?
Am i even worthy of anything??
AM I?

Never Again

I need to be rescued by myself.
Deminish what saddens me.
Im so numb inside
What emotions do i have when i have been broken?

I gave you my heart.
Now its just bleeding in your hands
And i still can't say no to you.
Hiding all emotions from whoever else comes my way.
Dark clouds play in my mind
Confusing the thoughts in my head
I can't trust myself anymore.


You lead me on
Now i cant let you go
What happened?
Im not good enough?
I still dont know what keeps me here.
But dont try to fix me, Im not broken anymore.

Mixed Emotions

I linger in the dark
My demons wandering in my mind.
The raindrops fall as my tears leaves my eyes
Lying somewhere which seems foreign to me
But i know i should call it home
Im seeking refuge from myself
I fell in love with my sorrow.

Why do i feel so alone and isolated.
Sadden by my life
When my life to others seems perfect.
Should i lie to myself,pretending to prove them right?
Should i lie to myself to make myself content?
Or should i deal with the pain myself?

I wish i had someone who was there to catch me before i fall.
And hit the ground.
Im crying inside because of my inner fears
I pray that my dreams may leave me here.
Holding my last breath
Wishing I can leave this place
Sitting beside myself,
My heart begins to race
I don't know this emotion
Its like im wishing to be dismissed
From this cold world.
World full of lies and conflict.
Everyone is fooling someone.
No one is themselves.
But who am I? Am i just another person.
Do i have a purpose for being here?
Why can't happiness find me?
Hold me in its arms and never leave me!
Maybe then i'll find my will to live.

Taking Over Me.

I wanna know everything about you
I wanna feel the way i do when im around you
I used to laugh when you tell me to smile
All i do is reminisce because i haven't smiled in a while.

Carving words in my heart, because i dont know how to say it to you
Hopefully, my actions speak louder than words.
But how am i going to make it come through
My heart, through my mouth as words?
Would i mean what i say, and will it hurt you?

Am i too young to love? i ask myself
What is love? i ask myself
What emotion is this we chase and fein for?
How can we want something so bad and don't even know what it is.
If Love is so precious to one, why does it hurt one so bad?
Do we love because we believe one loves us back?
Is it faith that makes us love?
Well,if it is, I believe in love and i believe i fell in Love with you.